Orin's Turnip Thyme Chicken Sausage Time

I'm not a huge potato guy. Honestly I prefer turnips and feel they are underrated. But then I also don't like Mario 3 so what do I know?

-For this one, you're going to slice a purple top turnip into relatively thin slices, like the width of about four bar coasters. Not like the thick cork ones, why would you assume I meant those? Chop up an onion and start frying the turnip and the onion together at medium heat with a dab of butter so nothing sticks.

-Add a healthy amount of paprika and about a teaspoon of sugar, and mix in some spices to taste. I used a bit of salt, pepper, garlic, savory, basil, thyme and mustard powder. I'll probably play around with these, the sugar's important though because it nicely balances the strong turnip flavor. I also added a bit of hot pepper, but this is optional.

-Stir semi-regularly. When the turnip is soft and the onions are clear, add some chicken sausage to the pan. I had little ones, but if you have a larger sausage then cut it into bite-size chunks. Or at least don't take it out in public.

-Stir once more and enjoy your smug superiority over potato people (and/or people who prefer potatoes).

Takes about an hour depending on how soft you like your turnips. Yields about 3 servings.

Did you ever try adding an egg to the boiling water when making cheap cup ramen? It is not related to this recipe but it is a superior method of consuming cheap cup ramen.

Orin's Orange Pepper Rosé Rice Pasta Recipe

My girlfriend seems to function better when she avoids eating gluten, so we've been playing around with some recipes that avoid wheat, and I concocted one yesterday that we both agreed was worth sharing. The meatballs (Swedish) and rosé sauce I used was store bought. (Also this would work fine with regular pasta I'm sure, but that might result in horrific and NSFW consequences.)

-Bake about three handfuls of meatballs. (A "handful" is a scientific term for a "thwack.")

-Boils some brown rice pasta. (Ours didn't expand much, so you should probably put in more than you think you need, and it takes a fair bit of boiling.) Drain pasta when it's desirably droopy, drizzle with olive oil (to keep it from sticking) and a pinch of salt and mix.

-In a pan sauté half a copped union, a bit of green onion, and a bell pepper (an orange one will look nice). Onions should be translucent but not burnt.

-Add to pan meatballs, rosé sauce, a dash of pepper to taste, a dash of powdered ginger, and a very hot pepper. (The hot pepper I used was from the deli and stuffed with feta cheese, the both of us agreed that it was virtually inedible on its own, so I removed the also extremely hot feta and sprinkled it on the dish.)

-Stir intermittently for a few minutes over medium to high heat, then remove hot pepper. Serve over pasta (make sure both are still warm).

Takes about a half hour to prepare. Yields approximately 3 servings depending on hunger level.

I would have liked to include a picture as the dish was quite attractive as well as being delicious, but we gobbled it down immediately before the idea of posting it came up. Also since the hot pepper was only simmered for a bit and then removed, the dish isn't very spicy at all (and probablly wouldn't be described as "spicy" by someone who didn't see the hot pepper go in), but along with the ginger it gives a little kick.

Also if you stick the green union bases in water and leave them near sunlight, they will regrow and you can have LIMITLESS ONIONS! Bye-bye costly onion bills, hello sensible onion bills!